Love locked down

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Sorry

Sorry doesn't really mean anything. Whatever it is, the fact that you made that mistake is still there. Sorry doesn't fucking change anything. That's all you'll ever need me for, *insert word here*. That's the only god damn time you're actually nice to me. The words you say actually make me feel... special in a way, but by the next day, everything you said, god knows if you actually meant it, turns into bullshit.

Sorry doesn't change anything.

You mean a lot to me & all but, if you say something, at least act as if you mean it.

-you know who =)

2:17 AM
Yours truly.

Monday, June 7, 2010

To you

I don't know how to put my feelings into words, but according to 500 days of summer, the best way to get over a woman is to make her literature, so I hope the same goes for men.

People asked why I picked you. Out of so many other better people, why in the heck did I ever pick you? The answer isn't simple at all, but I'll find a way to translate my feelings into words. I picked you because you were the only one who could make my heart beat faster than Usain Bolt. You were the reason I woke up & felt happy whenever I knew I was going to see you at school. You were the only one who is capable of putting a smile on my face no matter what. You were the only reason I run through the obstacle course in my room whenever I hear a message tone. You were the only one who could make my heart melt. You were the only one who could make me feel as if I was on top of the world when you told me that you loved me. You were the only thing that entered my mind & never left, even when I'm asleep. You used to make me giggle whenever you text me something sweet & replace an English word you don't know how to spell with a malay word. You were the only one who manages to make me feel better whenever I'm in the dumps. You are the only one who accepted me for the loser I am. You found my heart, and happened to break it. You pulled me up. You were the one I always thought I couldn't live without, but I've got to start learning how to go on without you now. You were the one I would look at & everything seemed fine again. You were the one I cried for every night. You were the one I thought would always be there to catch me when I fall. You were the only one who has ever made me feel this way. You were the only one I would look for in a crowd & my heart would skip a beat when I found you. You are the one I owe everything to, for giving me the best months in my life. You were the only one who has made me feel secure, just by wrapping your hands around me. You were the only one who's heart I saw when I looked into your eyes. You are the only one who's voice makes me feel alive. You were the only one who's given me a wonderful feeling whenever I thought of you. You were the only one who has made a huge impact in my life. You were my everything, maybe you still are.

There are many more things I feel but I really cannot express it right now. I'm just not ready to let people know how I really felt about you. I just want to let you know that I would've done anything to keep you happy. I've tried to love you perfectly, but I never got to achieve it. I want to let you know that I really appreciate everything you've done for me, even though I've never shown I have.

Love, it has a different definition to everyone. You've just gotta find the right person to give love it's definition. Well, you've given me my definition to love. I'm sorry that I couldn't give you your definition of love. Love isn't always painful. But whenever it is, the pain just makes you stronger for the future bastards who are going to break your heart. Never take the person you love for granted cause he/she isn't going to be there forever.

I feel so lost without you right now. Don't get me wrong, I didn't hang on because I didn't want to feel lonely. I did it because I loved you and I thought you would notice that & change for the better but I guess I was wrong. I don't regret hanging on at all, I just wish that you would've noticed how far I was willing to go for you. For a month or so, I felt as if I was the only one who wanted to patch things up & bring it back to the times you used to be so i love with me. But then I realised I was the only one trying. I have to admit, I did give up on you. I didn't wanna continue. But I thought of it properly. If I really did love you, I would be willing to go through whatever you put me through just to know that you were by my side.

I knew this day would come, but I didn't know it would be so soon. I never expected it to be this way as well. The day before, I thought I actually meant something to you. Right now, it's the total opposite. I don't remember how life is without you by my side. I don't know how I'm going to get on with doing the things I do, but I hope I'll get used to it sooner or later.

'Omg you & your ego, bigger than KLCC la. Just accept the fact that I love you more. Ego woman. Remember I love you more. Nyte! Go to sleep'

'Ya that's more like it. We all know baby loves boo more. Nyte my boo, have a good nyte rest. I love you. Muah muah <3'

After all the I love you's you've said to me, you told me 'Don't say I love you unless you know the meaning of it'. Then you told me you didn't know what it meant. Well thanks a lot for saying that, it honestly didn't fucking hurt at all. It just felt as if someone stabbed me in my heart from the front. I guess it isn't as bad as being stabbed in the back huh? I love you has 8 letter and so does bullshit. I never thought I would use that phrase but I just did.

Well, thanks for everything. I won't be able to forget you THAT easily or THAT soon but I know I will someday. Maybe I'll wait, maybe I won't. I just don't know what to do except get on with life right now.

There are many more things I wanna say but it just isn't the right time.

All the love we had can never be replaced and I don't think it can be replaced. I love you, always have & always will.

2:42 AM
Yours truly.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Love is

If you love someone, put their name on a circle, not a heart. A heart can be broken but a circle goes on forever.

9:37 PM
Yours truly.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

To to to you.

To you :

You crazy CB playboy bitch. I don't like you maaan, no no not at all ;P

To Az :

Jogging then gym this fri aite? (:

To Shayne :

Hehe, welcome me back onto your msn, betch. Sorry for not sharing, I still care :P

To Squidward (Sean) :

Ass, you owe me 70 sen for that lolipop.

To Pearly :

I'm not pissed at you & you were the one who ignored me the whole day.

To June :

Imma get you a lolipop (:

To Reza :

6 cm LA LOSER HAHA

To Zulika :

Let's go annoy anep again tomorrow & stop watching Upin & Ipin LOL! Dah la go change the language to malay :P

Sorry, I was damn damn damn damn bored.

10:44 PM
Yours truly.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

tooooday.

I woke up to an iphone beside me today (Y) I skipped lunch cause my mum didn't wanna get me and my bro KFC. But my bro got to eat some funky sour vegetable thingy. My mum said someone bought it for us but it looked... yellow-ish green-ish and i don't really like the taste of sour stuff anyways. Sourness+vege=yuck. I'm sorry for insulting you vege xD Omg, I'm starting to apologise to food. There's seriously something wrong with me today. Then we went to pick the car up from the service centre. On the way there, I got a phone call from Trunan & Mateen. Mateen spoke like a girl at first so I hung up cause usually when someone calls me & goes all feminine on me, it's Adam. Then Trunan called back. Oh, maybe Trunan used his phone. Then I'd have Bernard Chandran's son's handphone number. Ahahahaha isn't that just coooool? Yes yes it is so be jelous. Okay for all I know it wasn't even Trunan's number, haha. I'm currently very bored so I'm reading Arif's blog & wondering why he's so emo. Maybe I should ask him? Nah, he wouldn't tell me anyways. Okay, Imma go bathe now. Bye bye (:

im not good with words but i love you

8:21 PM
Yours truly.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

ily

Okay, I started reading stupid idiotic stories on the net & they were so damn sad. Most of them ended with 'tell the person you love how much you love them before its too late' or something like that. So well, i love you (: This isn't exactly to 1 person but it's kind of to everyone. & when I say everyone, I mean everyone. EVERYONE! LIKE EVERYBODY. I never thought I'd say this but this is also to Az. She has always been there for me & all so yea :/

i love you (:

ok baiii (:

11:02 PM
Yours truly.

love storyyy.

From the very Begining, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background & that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.

Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy deeply, but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?"

As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in silence.

After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies in overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"

The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he leave, they got engaged.

The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up.

One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realised that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She has lost her voice......

The doctors says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down.

During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry,.....it's still just silence cry that companied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone. Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know. & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.

With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, and countless of phonecalls,.. all the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying....

The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.

With a new environment, the girl learn sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.

A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead.

When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You. With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.

Awhs (:

9:34 PM
Yours truly.

Love locked down And I continue to write the love story..
	Saturday, June 19, 2010 Sorry Sorry doesn't really mean anything. Whatever it is, the fact that you made that mistake is still there. Sorry doesn't fucking change anything. That's all you'll ever need me for, insert word here. That's the only god damn time you're actually nice to me. The words you say actually make me feel... special in a way, but by the next day, everything you said, god knows if you actually meant it, turns into bullshit. Sorry doesn't change anything. You mean a lot to me & all but, if you say something, at least act as if you mean it. -you know who =) 2:17 AM Yours truly. Monday, June 7, 2010 To you I don't know how to put my feelings into words, but according to 500 days of summer, the best way to get over a woman is to make her literature, so I hope the same goes for men. People asked why I picked you. Out of so many other better people, why in the heck did I ever pick you? The answer isn't simple at all, but I'll find a way to translate my feelings into words. I picked you because you were the only one who could make my heart beat faster than Usain Bolt. You were the reason I woke up & felt happy whenever I knew I was going to see you at school. You were the only one who is capable of putting a smile on my face no matter what. You were the only reason I run through the obstacle course in my room whenever I hear a message tone. You were the only one who could make my heart melt. You were the only one who could make me feel as if I was on top of the world when you told me that you loved me. You were the only thing that entered my mind & never left, even when I'm asleep. You used to make me giggle whenever you text me something sweet & replace an English word you don't know how to spell with a malay word. You were the only one who manages to make me feel better whenever I'm in the dumps. You are the only one who accepted me for the loser I am. You found my heart, and happened to break it. You pulled me up. You were the one I always thought I couldn't live without, but I've got to start learning how to go on without you now. You were the one I would look at & everything seemed fine again. You were the one I cried for every night. You were the one I thought would always be there to catch me when I fall. You were the only one who has ever made me feel this way. You were the only one I would look for in a crowd & my heart would skip a beat when I found you. You are the one I owe everything to, for giving me the best months in my life. You were the only one who has made me feel secure, just by wrapping your hands around me. You were the only one who's heart I saw when I looked into your eyes. You are the only one who's voice makes me feel alive. You were the only one who's given me a wonderful feeling whenever I thought of you. You were the only one who has made a huge impact in my life. You were my everything, maybe you still are. There are many more things I feel but I really cannot express it right now. I'm just not ready to let people know how I really felt about you. I just want to let you know that I would've done anything to keep you happy. I've tried to love you perfectly, but I never got to achieve it. I want to let you know that I really appreciate everything you've done for me, even though I've never shown I have. Love, it has a different definition to everyone. You've just gotta find the right person to give love it's definition. Well, you've given me my definition to love. I'm sorry that I couldn't give you your definition of love. Love isn't always painful. But whenever it is, the pain just makes you stronger for the future bastards who are going to break your heart. Never take the person you love for granted cause he/she isn't going to be there forever. I feel so lost without you right now. Don't get me wrong, I didn't hang on because I didn't want to feel lonely. I did it because I loved you and I thought you would notice that & change for the better but I guess I was wrong. I don't regret hanging on at all, I just wish that you would've noticed how far I was willing to go for you. For a month or so, I felt as if I was the only one who wanted to patch things up & bring it back to the times you used to be so i love with me. But then I realised I was the only one trying. I have to admit, I did give up on you. I didn't wanna continue. But I thought of it properly. If I really did love you, I would be willing to go through whatever you put me through just to know that you were by my side. I knew this day would come, but I didn't know it would be so soon. I never expected it to be this way as well. The day before, I thought I actually meant something to you. Right now, it's the total opposite. I don't remember how life is without you by my side. I don't know how I'm going to get on with doing the things I do, but I hope I'll get used to it sooner or later. 'Omg you & your ego, bigger than KLCC la. Just accept the fact that I love you more. Ego woman. Remember I love you more. Nyte! Go to sleep' 'Ya that's more like it. We all know baby loves boo more. Nyte my boo, have a good nyte rest. I love you. Muah muah <3' After all the I love you's you've said to me, you told me 'Don't say I love you unless you know the meaning of it'. Then you told me you didn't know what it meant. Well thanks a lot for saying that, it honestly didn't fucking hurt at all. It just felt as if someone stabbed me in my heart from the front. I guess it isn't as bad as being stabbed in the back huh? I love you has 8 letter and so does bullshit. I never thought I would use that phrase but I just did. Well, thanks for everything. I won't be able to forget you THAT easily or THAT soon but I know I will someday. Maybe I'll wait, maybe I won't. I just don't know what to do except get on with life right now. There are many more things I wanna say but it just isn't the right time. All the love we had can never be replaced and I don't think it can be replaced. I love you, always have & always will. 2:42 AM Yours truly. Friday, May 14, 2010 Love is If you love someone, put their name on a circle, not a heart. A heart can be broken but a circle goes on forever. 9:37 PM Yours truly. Wednesday, April 28, 2010 To to to you. To you : You crazy CB playboy bitch. I don't like you maaan, no no not at all ;P To Az : Jogging then gym this fri aite? (: To Shayne : Hehe, welcome me back onto your msn, betch. Sorry for not sharing, I still care :P To Squidward (Sean) : Ass, you owe me 70 sen for that lolipop. To Pearly : I'm not pissed at you & you were the one who ignored me the whole day. To June : Imma get you a lolipop (: To Reza : 6 cm LA LOSER HAHA To Zulika : Let's go annoy anep again tomorrow & stop watching Upin & Ipin LOL! Dah la go change the language to malay :P Sorry, I was damn damn damn damn bored. 10:44 PM Yours truly. Saturday, April 17, 2010 tooooday. I woke up to an iphone beside me today (Y) I skipped lunch cause my mum didn't wanna get me and my bro KFC. But my bro got to eat some funky sour vegetable thingy. My mum said someone bought it for us but it looked... yellow-ish green-ish and i don't really like the taste of sour stuff anyways. Sourness+vege=yuck. I'm sorry for insulting you vege xD Omg, I'm starting to apologise to food. There's seriously something wrong with me today. Then we went to pick the car up from the service centre. On the way there, I got a phone call from Trunan & Mateen. Mateen spoke like a girl at first so I hung up cause usually when someone calls me & goes all feminine on me, it's Adam. Then Trunan called back. Oh, maybe Trunan used his phone. Then I'd have Bernard Chandran's son's handphone number. Ahahahaha isn't that just coooool? Yes yes it is so be jelous. Okay for all I know it wasn't even Trunan's number, haha. I'm currently very bored so I'm reading Arif's blog & wondering why he's so emo. Maybe I should ask him? Nah, he wouldn't tell me anyways. Okay, Imma go bathe now. Bye bye (: im not good with words but i love you 8:21 PM Yours truly. Thursday, April 15, 2010 ily Okay, I started reading stupid idiotic stories on the net & they were so damn sad. Most of them ended with 'tell the person you love how much you love them before its too late' or something like that. So well, i love you (: This isn't exactly to 1 person but it's kind of to everyone. & when I say everyone, I mean everyone. EVERYONE! LIKE EVERYBODY. I never thought I'd say this but this is also to Az. She has always been there for me & all so yea :/ i love you (: ok baiii (: 11:02 PM Yours truly. love storyyy. From the very Begining, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background & that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him. Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy deeply, but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?" As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in silence. After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies in overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?" The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he leave, they got engaged. The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up. One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realised that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She has lost her voice...... The doctors says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down. During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry,.....it's still just silence cry that companied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone. Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know. & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer. With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, and countless of phonecalls,.. all the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying.... The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy. With a new environment, the girl learn sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him. A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead. When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You. With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled. Awhs (: 9:34 PM Yours truly.	Yours Truly RACHEL LEE SZE WEI is currently 4teen & living in sunny Malaysia. She surprised the world with her presence on the 6th day of the 3rd month in the year 9teen9ty6. Don't you dare touch her gummy bears, pringles or snapple or she'll slap your head real hard. BUT if you buy her any of those, she'll love you a hell lot. She's a really open person, like seriously, ask the people she hangs out with & they'll tell you that Rachel's the open-est person they know in the whole wide world. Single single single, so what if she's a single lady? She NEVER jogs unless she has a friend which is willing to jog with her, which is no one. Her life can be a tragic mess at times but hey, life's a bitch. She may be hard to understand at unless you get to know her well. She curses alot but she NEVER means it when she does, so please, don't take it seriously. Her laugh can be heard miles away. She ALWAYS has a smile on her face no matter what & she has the power to make most of her friends laugh. Dailybooth Facebook Twitter Formspring.me Comments Links Aisyah Katrina Alisya Jehana Andrea Alexandrea Arif Lee Arif Rahman Bryan Hon Bryan Wang Carmen Chang Catherine Loi Charmayne Lee Dania Ariffin Francesca Gan Hanna Amirah Hui Yee I Ching Ian Hon Ira Erina Joanna Tan Kimberly Kok Laila Nabila Low Yiyi Huey Lynn Huey Vern Mae Pearl Mark Gomez Maryam Saida Myra Mazlan Natasha Khor Natasha Tan Noor Farhan Nor Azlina Nur Lisa Pawanraj Singh Pearly Ng Rachel Choong Raja Shazkyssa Rajvinder Singh Rajvinder Singh 2 Rafhan Amnani Reena Lily Ruby Cheow Ryan Vong Sara & Aqilah Shahirah Hishamudin Shayne Especkerman U-Howie Vanessa Ho Wan Hariz Yan Kuan Zulika Shaharom Archives June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 November 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 Credits Biggest credit: the bikini boy Editor: JollyPills/:B